And a Happy Thanksgiving to all

It still holds a special place in my heart

Rather than prattle on about the problems with the holiday and the issues surrounding us, perhaps just a time to stop and say thanks.  Just like those first puritans spending three days celebrating and partying and thanking God for their blessings.  Considering the losses they experienced and the hardships, they still found time for endless thanksgiving.  And that's not a bad thought to remember.  

For fun, here is an article attempting to delve into the past and figure out just what it is that those immigrants and Indians actually ate on the famous feast.  I'm sure it wasn't green bean casserole, which is why we never eat that on Thanksgiving.  But I'd like to think among all the venison, a nice plump turkey the way we breed found its way onto the table.  

For a reminder, the reasons my wife and I have to be thankful, among many others: 

It is a sad fact

That our youngest has been on the receiving end of some pretty ill timed events in our lives.  He was born of our entrance into the Catholic Church and the change in lifestyle approaches that such a commitment brings.  If you get my drift. 

Of course that was the beginning of the rough years, until things stabilized for us, only to be plunged into crazy and chaos again.  Then, after several years of some more hard knocks, we entered 2020 looking pretty darn good.  Then, well, you know. 

This year was his big sixteenth birthday.  A somewhat solitary young fellow, we pulled out all the stops and got him the materials needed for him to build his own computer.  He's seriously into tech, retro-tech, and of all things, sound and video mixing.  He has taken to getting old VCR compilations that are no longer available, or practical because of companies' refusal to make new VCRs, and is transferring them onto digital formats - no easy thing since many had measures to prevent easy copying.  But he's done quite well.  We saved money when he build a PC for my wife's work when she was at home rather than having to buy a new one outright. 

Nonetheless, no sooner were we getting ready for his sweet sixteenth than my mom had her latest stroke the day before.  Then shortly after, my father-in-law's health took a sudden turn for the worse, leading to his unexpected passing.  That was his birthday.  His previous special birthdays often ending up in the same way.

Because of that, we try to balance it out by doing what we can.  Right now, we're having that 'talk' about my mom, if we can in any practical way continue to help her at home.  We are cognizant of the fact that nobody in any of our families has the relationship with her that he has.  My mom and dad were always there to help raise my nephew, and when we moved to Ohio they were often here with the boys to visit and help out.  

But our youngest was there when my mom moved in with us, and almost immediately he began to have to help take care of her.  And he has.  It was he who alerted us to her serious health crisis back in 2017 that  almost took her from us.  Had he not done that, we would have lost her then (his intervention along with fast thinking help from my other older sons at the time of course). And he has been every bit as good with medications, feeding and basic care as any of us.  So what this will do if she must go to the next stage in her life regarding care in a nursing home, we don't know.  

Nonetheless, for all of it, he's proven to be resilient.  I would never say he's the lowest key of the brothers and no doubt his life of ups and frequent downs gives him an edge and an almost obsessive determination when there is something he wants.  He thinks nothing of kicking in doors and putting his foot down until he at least gets something out of his goal.  Set him on a task that interests him and watch the rest of the world fade away as he throws himself into the job until it's done. A trait that can be both good or bad, depending on how it is cultivated.  Yet he has a big heart, and this is best seen when we watch him with our granddaughter or my mom.

Part of his nature and mature perspectives no doubt come from his relationship with his brothers.  Over the years I've seen more than one child born crazy late after a set of older siblings.  Often they are simply 'the young kid' with the older siblings going on with their lives, forever seeing the youngest as merely a distant youngest.  But our three older sons have done yeoman's work over the years making sure they weren't the party he missed.  They really have made him 25% of the Griffey boys.  And for that I am ever grateful.

So here's to a smoother year ahead for him.  I think after all the years before, he's earned it. 

The four boys with our daughter-in-law; not the three and daughter-in-law plus the kid. 
All is right with the world

Yes another Birthday post

And the last of the year.  As I said, we have to modify our approach to 'our half of the year', since our daughter-in-law and our granddaughter both have May birthdays.  But we typically end the big celebrations with our oldest, and last of the calendar.  After all, by my age birthdays aren't what they used to be, and for my mom (in January), every birthday is a celebration, albeit one in the middle of our Christmastide festivities.  

With divergent schedules and obligations, the boys moving on and getting older, and the changes in family dynamics and obligations, we obviously don't do everything we used to.  But goodness knows we still try.  Sometimes it's still a few old traditions, even if not everyone is available.  With planning, luck and some scheduling elbow-grease, we can get together.

This year, owing to this year, it was confined to mostly the gang coming over with their daughter and picking out pumpkins (one day), and carving them (the next week).  Some of us did manage to get up to my old stomping grounds and get some fresh pressed cider (nothing better).  

We had a fine birthday dinner for our oldest, at his request.  We went to a 'Der Dutchman' (I call it McAmish), which is a chain restaurant based on those Amish eating houses that are plentiful in the northwestern parts of the state.  In those, if you've not experienced them, the popular approach is called 'Family Style.'  That is, they bring out platters of meats and sides and breads and such and you help yourself, as they replenish the empty platters until everyone is full.  Or, in this case, they have a buffet option, which is more economical for our size family.  It's not easy getting out with my mom at this point, but with effort and teamwork it's still possible.  

Then our oldest asked to break from the current pastime of World in Flames and dive into the old Flames of War game.  We dusted off those old containers of miniatures.  Really.  They were dusty, it's been so long.  We then spent some time setting things up.  We haven't played yet, again owing to time and such.  But when we can and everyone is in proper place, then we'll have a go at it, and I may unpack that and how we tie it into that larger, hobby game of World in Flames.

Otherwise, it's been a season.  Things have been more sedated, but then we notice that seems to be the trend.  I can't imagine why there are so few Halloween decorations this year.  The economy is as strong as ever, thus says the American news media.  Why people aren't spending more on Halloween decor is, therefore, beyond me.  But we seem hardly alone in playing it simple.  We'll see.  That will be for a later post.   For now, the birthday.  

Before the whole family gathered, three of the boys went to a local park and farmstead.  Only to discover you couldn't get to the farmstead from the park.  Heh. 

As if mom is a queen entering the court, the kids and grandchild part ways for her at the local farm market and pumpkin patch. 

Her first trip to a pumpkin patch. She seemed to enjoy it, at least if we translate baby correctly.

Birthday boy with a rather large pumpkin for himself.  Each has their own, but my wife and I double up with one pumpkin, to save a little cash. 

The gang.  Mom is looking at something, but the rest were actually looking forward and smiling at the same time, which is a rarity where pictures are concerned!

Up at the orchard, the location of my very first field trip in kindergarten, you can smell the apples before you enter the shop. Plus local maple syrup, and local honey.  Which we can also get where we get the pumpkins. 

The first eating out with our granddaughter.  She seems pleased with the possibility of starting to eat solid foods in the not too distant. 

Waiting for the gifts to be opened and the cake to be had.  Just a fun candid picture.

Flames of War to the fore!  It won't be these forces, they were only used to gauge distances during the setup.  But if it was the game, it looks like that British Cromwell has the advantage on the Panther, with US infantry standing back.

Her oldest uncle and his niece.

The birthdays continue

Several years ago, I quipped about 'Our time of the year.'  We used to go from our third son's birthday because it was close to the six month mark to Christmas.  Now with our daughter-in-law and the world's cutest baby having birthdays before that, not to mention their anniversary, I have to modify that template.  

But no matter, starting in May now, we have month after month of birthdays.  This is our final summer birthday, and the one that is our own 'autumnal season' marker.  Largely because of my son's requests, we keep any and all references to, and indulging in, fall pastimes until after his August birthday.  So it's with great expectations that we look forward to his birthday.  But in fairness, we look forward to it because it's his birthday, and another chance to look at the sunny side of life, as they say. Especially now that he has his family to share it with.  

As families go, his has had a full, rich, crazy time.  They opened no less than a brick and mortar book store coming right off the chaos and catastrophe that was the Covid era lockdowns.  And that was before they were married.  Then, God decided the family needed a special blessing to get us through these moments of darkness, and they brought our granddaughter into the world.  

Gratuitous candid shot:

Now, I remember being just married all those years ago.  You have your honeymoon.  You have your honeymoon time.  Then life comes along and it's the whole new adventure.   For them, the adventures of life hit soon, and have been on a level that's tough to imagine.  Not just the Covid era courtship and post lockdown wedding, but what they have taken upon themselves to accomplish.  

It hasn't been easy.  The arrival of their daughter, while joy and happiness unimaginable, was in suboptimal conditions.  Sitting in a neonatal ICU unit is never anything that a positive spin can help.  

Yet they've proven amazingly resilient.  They probably handled it better than I would have at that stage in my life. Fortunately not only us, but her family lives in the area as well.  I'd like to think having both families nearby helped, and I know her mom did yeoman's work being there during the delivery and helping them get at least a couple feet back on the ground.

Now, looking at the grandbaby, it's easy to forget the chaos and upheaval and stress of the last year.  I know.  St. Paul says be anxious for nothing.  Call me a Christian in training, but the anxious was easy to fall into, with the nature of her early arrival and the rest of the blitz that hit us over the last year.  Soon we'll be at the anniversary of when everything went bonkers last fall.  This is especially notable as it's Employee Appreciation Week, and we all know what that means. Increasingly that, like Christmas, is when companies today cut jobs and hand out pink slips.  Our prayer is that we've paid our dues for a season, and the better side of blessings will continue to move us forward as God quiets the storms and stills the waves of life. 

One way to embrace the hope is to rejoice in the finer blessings, like another year with our son, his wife and their adorable child.  To share time with the other brothers who we're blessed to have here to gather together, and be thankful for the opportunities to help mom, each other, and by extension, hopefully move on in whatever crazy path God has set out for us.   

So a happy and blessed birthday to our second oldest.  I get now those greeting cards for children that speak of memories of them as little ones, but the pride in seeing the adults and parents they've become. 

As a sidenote, as my vision problems correct themselves and I look forward to new lenses that may seal the deal and get my eyesight back on track, I have to say the blessings still outweigh the problems, and for that, I am thankful to the Almighty. 

The family - an amazing year and a half

Mn mom overlooking the festivities

Don't mind saying he makes us proud

Five feet high the cake and three may eat abreast   

Happy National Sons Day!

 And a chance to gloat.  Here is a recent picture:

We don't have as many group photos anymore, owing to schedules and life and all.  Still, they try to get together and spend time with the brothers and family when they can.   This was obviously Christmas morning.  It was also the waning days of Covid Era living.  We would all get Covid over the next week or so.  In fact, it's likely we had it then.  But within a few weeks, it would be back to normal.  They would all trim beards (except the youngest), get haircuts, and get back to life in a semi-normal way.

They do make us proud. I've gone on about why in other posts, so I won't repeat it all here.  Our guess is that once our second oldest moves out after the wedding, barring catastrophic world events, the other two older brothers will quickly follow.  Even if they believe it's smart to stay home and amass a fair savings, they will no doubt get the itch once their brother moves on.  They've already said they will stagger moving out, to mitigate the impact on their youngest.  But I'm sure they will move out in the not too distant once those wedding bells have tolled.

To be honest, with all the games or fun trips or special events we've experienced with them over the years, I'll miss the regular talks the most.  We've been blessed by sons who actually seem to value talking with ol'mom and dad.  At times it's just one son coming to us to talk, but it's often the team of them. Sometimes it's trivial: Discussing the evolution of the Star Wars franchise, or comparing Potter and Frodo, or musing on what made The Heiress or The Third Man such compelling films to the eyes of 21st Century teens weaned on endless Marvel movies.  

Other times it's theology and religion, or history, or science, or current events.  That's when the discussions can get pretty heated.  Despite media attempts to the contrary, however, they never imagined differences in opinion should negate family relations.  And for that, we're thankful.  While we pray that we'll always continue to get together, the easy availability of fellowship and conversations we've had with the boys over the years will no doubt be a thing we will miss.  

Nonetheless, here's to our sons on this National Sons Day.  If we had nothing else in life but the boys, we'd consider ourselves abundantly blessed by God.  

Update: Prayers answered

OK, so here's the update. It's been quite a whirlwind, and I'll  try to post when I can.  I'll also unpack the rather interesting ways in which this event developed. But for now, CliffsNotes version.

My wife is home.  She did have a heart attack, albeit a mild one.   That is good.   It's still a heart attack of course.  Like the cardiologist said, a Category One tornado is still a tornado.  A year from now, if this didn't happen now, it likely would have been far more devastating.   

She will have to go through cardiac therapy.  Naturally she's on a boatload of meds now.  Fortunately my sons were able to step up and hold the fort and take care of my mom while I was at the hospital (more on that, too).  They've adjusted things to make sure one or the other is around to help in the upcoming weeks and months. 

Not sure what's next.  I remember when my dad had his heart.  Things changed after that.  Of course he was also diagnosed with diabetes at the same time.  Something my wife does not have.  Since we have been exercising and our diet has never been terribly unhealthy, she likely helped mitigate the impact. 

So that's a brief update.  Prayers worked.  It could have been much, much worse.  As it is, they're hoping therapy and medications will get her back on track with no need for anything more intrusive.  Please keep the prayers going and as things unfold, I'll be back. 

A happy birthday to our youngest

 

Yes, it's true.  We're on the brink of having no more children younger than teen age.  But not yet.  He's on the brink, however, and his feelings are mixed. Part of him is excited about getting older, and part wishes he could stay young.

When I was his age, I couldn't wait to grow up.  What the hell was I thinking?  But it was in the freewheeling 1970s when anything and everything adults could do was pretty much laid bare on the table for us little'uns to see.  We may think with the Internet things have gotten worse.  No, they've gotten secretive.  In the 1970s, what you go to dark sites on the Internet to find today were on storage shelves and book racks next to Popular Mechanics for all to see.

So there is that.  Our youngest, who we call our 'Little Catholic Gift", has grown up in a world separate from his brothers.  His oldest brother, over fourteen years his senior, grew up in an age at the end of ours, when the last shards of the assumptions that defined my generation were still in effect.  Things were changing, of course.  As they always do.  But the world our oldest grew up in - of God Bless America, Let's agree to disagree, of VCR tapes and CD players, of this new thing called the Internet, and of an only recently post-Cold War world - was far closer to my experience growing up than anything our youngest knows. 

To our youngest, most of those things are non-existent to ancient fables and legendary tales.  Including, of course, the idea that our country, our faith traditions, and the values we grew up with are for anything other than disdain and contempt.  With our oldest, we taught him to look past skin color and see people as individuals, all within one human race, never judging based on group identity.  Being in public schools, we had plenty of help in those days, though we noticed a growing tendency for him to see skin color and other identifiers more and more, courtesy of the latest lesson in his grade school text book.

But for our youngest, we have to explain to him that he wasn't born a racist Nazi simply because of his skin color.  That he is not guilty for the sins of everyone who ever had white skin.  That the country in which he was born doesn't deserve to be burned to the ground while people who look like my son should get it in the neck because, well, skin color. That's quite a change.

Plus, there's been shifts to our lives in general.  He was a late arrival in a family of late arrivals.  My mom was the youngest of six children in her family, and I came along almost nine years after my sister, who was born eight years after my parents were married.  It's not surprising, therefore, that my youngest's experience visiting family is limited.  There isn't much family left.  While my three oldest missed out on most of our greater extended family, they still can remember meeting some.  Our youngest never knew any but my mom and dad, and the rarest visit from my wife's parents and sister from Florida or visit to her surviving grandmother. 

More than that, my mom moved in with us when my dad died.  Over the years, her age and a clear case of dementia has left her as dementia often does.  Owing to our lives, him being home schooled, and obligations I have or opportunities that come my way, that often leaves him as the main contact to take care of my mom when the rest can't.

That's not easy on him, God bless him.  I explained to my sister that after her divorce, our parents stepped in and helped raise her son.  Likewise, though we lived away from my parents for many years, when we moved to Ohio, they would come down and babysit or watch them when needs arose.  In those crazy years when we became Catholic, sometimes we left them for days at a time as my wife and I scrambled to find income any way we could.  

But while her son and our oldest were raised by and cared for by their grandparents, our youngest has had to help care for for his grandma.  And it isn't easy.  Anyone who has been a caregiver for an elderly parent, even without dementia, knows how taxing it is.  Add the dementia element, and it can be more than tough.  Yet he handles it like a trooper.  If he gets al little exasperated at times, at the ripe age of pre-teen, I'd say he's more than earned his room and board.  

He helps her, gets her meals when we aren't available, and generally watches to make sure she's OK.  Despite it all, he's still as close to her as any of the boys and makes sure he takes time out of his days to spend time with her - something I think continues to help her in a very positive way. If he still sleeps with his stuffed dog he got when he was a baby, I let it slide.  Given what he's had to contend with, I'll leave him what shards of childhood he can hold onto while he can.  

So here's to a happy and blessed birthday and year for him. He's in many ways pre-teen going on twenty five in his life's experiences.  I get that he's not some poor kid in a third world country, but he's not had an easy walk either.  It's helped him, of course, and he can hold his own in a household of adults with the best of them.  May God bless him and the upcoming year in even the smallest amount of how much he blesses us.

Oh, and for his birthday dinner, we asked what he wanted - family tradition: birthday celebrant gets to choose.  He said McDonalds.  We said that's fine, but we thought he might want something a little more 'special.'  So he said OK, homemade McDonalds.  Since our oldest's first job was at McDonald, he took what he remembered there and found substitute recipes to make a dinner of burgers, nuggets, fries and even Big Macs.  

And you know what?  Though we couldn't' find small buns for the Big Macs, making them larger than they should have been, it worked.  Closing our eyes, we couldn't taste a bit of difference.  Hopefully that and all the things that went with his birthday made it worthy of what he brings to our family. 

By the way, eating a Big Mac twice the size of a normal Big Mac is like eating rocks. It took me until dinner the next day before I was able to eat anything else. 

Tasted great, but as filling as steel armor

Even the apple pies he made were twice the size - but yummy

To honor the pilgrims and thank God

For all with which we've been blessed, the ultimate Thanksgiving hymn:

We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;

1. He chastens and hastens His will to make known;
   The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing;
   Sing praises to His Name; He forgets not His own.
2. Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining,
   Ordaining, maintaining His kingdom divine;
   So from the beginning the fight we were winning;
   Thou, Lord, were at our side, all glory be Thine!
3. We all do extol Thee, Thou Leader triumphant,
   And pray that Thou still our Defender will be;
   Let Thy congregation escape tribulation;
   Thy Name be ever praised! O Lord, make us free!
4. 
   

It's that time of year again

In which I post, or link to, my favorite Thanksgiving TV memory.  That wonderful episode of The West Wing in which fictional president Bartlett discovers the wonder of the Butterball Turkey Hotline.

You can see an old post of it here.

Yes, The West Wing was an hour long liberal version of Rush Limbaugh in dramatic form.  The liberals and Democrats were generally the good guys, the Republicans and conservatives a bunch of warmongers, bigots, sexists, homophobes, racists and what have you.  Liberal policies saved the day, the polices of the right threatening the existence of humanity.

But it was a fun show.  Cutting edge in its day, it wouldn't make it today.  In one episode, it defies modern thinking and Pope Francis by suggesting there is a radical difference between fundamentalists and terrorists. As bad as fundamentalism is, so the show reasoned, it was merely a bunch of people who were likely good hearted but terribly wrong.  Ah, such were the days.

In later seasons, after it lost Rob Lowe, it became less subtle and more partisan.  Lowe's character Sam Seaborn was essential in that he was the token 'not always right liberal.'  It was often Lowe who spoke hastily, missed the point, or dared to insult this or that group not often considered in modern debates.  In short, he was the character who could actually be wrong when it came to policy and political thinking, not just the usual quirky flaws or obsessions about silly dramatic story lines. 

There are plenty of other things I could write about than this episode of course.  I could certainly focus on what I'm thankful for.  Or I could take the cynical route and zero in on the generations of young Americans taught to hate Christians, Europeans and Americans - including the Pilgrims, the Founding Fathers and Christopher Columbus - the way Nazis were taught to hate Jews.

But I won't.  I'll let the link and the whimsical have its own, when humor could be beyond hating those we should hate with a smile, while also at least acknowledging there are some great things about our country. 

If you wish for a treasure trove of American history, Thanksgiving trivia, and an understanding of the holiday through the ages, you could do worse than visiting the always interesting The American Catholic. 

A frabjous day!

Callooh!  Callay!

It's getting toward that time: late school year, exams coming around.  Our third son is poised to graduate from school.  The older two are busy with school concerns and job concerns as always.  And yet  they managed to pull Memorial Day weekend off, the three of them!  For old times' sake, they'd like to dust off some old games, get ready for festivities, and hang with the family.  Preparations to commence presently.

Even when dating, they'll tell the girls in question that they must have at least one day a week to be with the family, often adding days to make sure they have time with their youngest (as they did the other Saturday in order to be at his last game).  As a result, despite being nine years younger than our third son, and a whopping fourteen years away from our oldest, our youngest just sees himself as 25% of the Griffey boys.

So it's with great anticipation that this weekend, before everyone hunkers down for that blitz through exams, grading and end of year brouhaha, including graduation, they are going to take a weekend and spend it with us for cookouts, outdoor fun, probably visiting the cemetery, and of course playing some old games from years gone by.  All is right with the world.

Most plans are still in the making, but here is a taste of a couple pastimes, one in the running on a weekly basis, one just dusted off and brought out of mothball, and the others we are hoping for pending weather.  Here are a few images to whet our appetite:

First up, our wargaming itch will be dealt with.  This is our three youngest sons' German armored column. Properly, those would be Panzer IV Ausf. J series, with 'Elefant' tank destroyers in the background (which won't be deployed owing to the theater in question). 

In response, the oldest and I have a US mechanized infantry company ready to go.

Those are from miniature war gaming, my old preference to fantasy and sci-fi genres.  I posted on this hobby some years ago, but it's been a bit since we played that, times being what they are.

Meanwhile, our ongoing hobby-get-together-boys' night of the week game continues apace.  Called 'a flawed masterpiece', it is the definitive Napoleonic era war game (though we have played others).  As long as you have permanent space and infinite time, Empires in Arms is a great play.  Plus these games can be opportunities for learning in the glorious setting of homeschool.  After all, how many eight year olds can not only locate and explain the importance of Sevastopol, but also pronounce it correctly!

Don't look now, but I think something is getting ready to go down along the Rhine

Depending on weather, we'll try to get out for some hiking, visiting the cemeteries, have cookouts and enjoy our very long awaited dose of spring.  Since the only thing to watch in sports is whether or not the press can hoist LeBron to the position of sports god, there's not much sporting to gather around.

If the creek don't rise, one of our favorite local haunts for hiking, general nature loving and tree hugging

Our local cemetery and location of many a ghost run over the years.  During Memorial Day, July 4 and Veterans day, however,  we get a bit more somber as we visit veterans' graves and pay our respects. 

I think, whatever the weather and whatever we get to do, time with the boys will more than suffice.  We consider ourselves fortunate that we have young men who put a premium on including their family in their social calendars.  It's been all the world to their youngest, and it hasn't done my wife and me that much harm either.

The myth, the legend, the boys.

I could watch this every Thanksgiving

There are some things to be thankful for.  A nation with time and resources for a special turkey instruction hotline has to be one of them.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and God's blessings.