A confession

Monte Cassino shrine in S. Indiana, where my
journey to Rome properly began

At this point there is something I need to clarify or, more appropriately, confess.  A few readers picked up on this but I've never confirmed the point.  The reasons I didn't are personal, not because of money or fame or fortune.  After all, I get no money for this blog.   But events have transpired that make it necessary for me to come out and state that I have, in fact, entered the Orthodox Church.

It was a long time coming, and of course regular readers could probably see where it was heading.  It's not because of 'meanie Catholics on the Internet' or 'Gee, the Orthodox Church doesn't have any problems!', but a careful evaluation of the gravest threat to the orthodox Christian Faith I've seen in my lifetime, if not of all time, and the crumbling before it that is happening in the Church and among too many of its leaders - as well as the impact it had on my family, especially my sons.

One too many times I heard from my family, 'Why did we bother becoming Catholic? We could have gone Episcopalian and not lost everything.  After all, we hear one way's as good as another.'  Being in a moderate diocese, and a progressive leaning parish, in the age of Pope Francis, there simply wasn't anything I had to offer except, 'Trust me, it might look crazy right now, what with the pope and leaders and teachers and all, but there is still the exclusive Truth of the Church.'  As they began to waver in their faith walks, and general devotion dwindled, they began questioning the exclusive truth claims of the Church.  After all, it appeared to be led by individuals who no longer seemed to believe those very claims. 

It was in this context that we began searching for a different parish some time ago, and in which my wife suggested an Orthodox church mission that had opened up a few years earlier.  I wasn't happy with the idea, but our search for a more traditional place to take root was yielding lemons. We were getting to the point that we were beginning to consider a Protestant congregation.  So we visited the mission (a strange experience to be sure), and met the priest, himself a former Protestant.  His wife had been born Catholic as well, but left the Church years earlier.  They were not forceful, but were kindly, open and respectful to our struggles. About a year later my wife and a couple of my sons joined.

By last year it was clear that this was to be our new home, hence one reason I left Patheos (among many).  To be brutally honest?  I saw their spiritual walk turn a corner the longer we attended there.  No more feminist youth directors, pleas to not offend pro-choice parishioners, Church leaders with transgender children calling for acceptance, hearing nuns tell us those old superstitions went out with Vatican II, removing references to Hell from prayers during processionals lest we offend modern sensitivities, suggestions that tolerance is more important than truth, or implying it doesn't really matter since the hereafter is pretty much a shoo in.  For all the myriad problems the Orthodox have (and boy do they have them), doctrinally caving to the latest fancies is not one. They have other problems galore, but in the Antiochian tradition at least, they are steadfast, traditional and rooted in the claims and morals of the historical Faith against whatever storms head their way.  That alone has made a difference.  I suppose it has to do with being in regions where fealty to the Faith can mean life or death.

Anyway, that's the short version of how it happened.  There is a lot more to it all than that.  I probably should have been more open when I began looking that direction, or again when I left and began attending the Orthodox Church semi-regularly (though not exclusively).  I certainly should have said it when it became official.  Nonetheless, there are personal reasons I was holding out, though at this point other events have taken hold that have forced my hand, so I figured I better get it out in the open.

I do not leave the Church with middle fingers flaring, throwing barbs and darts and anathemas.  After all, I didn't do that to my Protestant brethren when I became Catholic, even if some did it to me.  Heck, I didn't do it to agnostics and secularists when I became Christian.  It's not my style.

Truth be told, some of the most impressive spiritual giants I've had the pleasure to meet are those within the walls of the Church.  I've already told our priest that in some ways I will always be a child of the Catholic soul.  Yet there are problems - serious, grave and significant problems, especially for young men (and the not so young) only starting out and looking for guidance in the historical Faith rather than the latest fad.  Those I will comment on down the road.

When I entered the Catholic Church, it was with all smiles, tears of laughter and a great joy.  As I entered the Orthodox Church, it was with a heavy heart and a feeling of sadness, even amidst the love and openness shown us by our new church home.  I still maintain one heart valve pointing back to Rome. Had we been born and bred Catholic, or surrounded by Catholics here in the home office rooted more in the traditional Faith, or have come into the Church fifteen or twenty years earlier, perhaps we could have weathered the storm and helped our boys work things out.  As it was, we saw things crumbling, their resolve wavering, and had to move.

I have no doubt the Church will survive in the long term.  My one son who is still Catholic rests his faith on that promise.  Not that he doesn't see the huge problems, especially for those new to the Faith, nor does he begrudge our decision.  As he said, we just came on board into all this.  It's tough enough for cradle Catholics trying to remain faithful.  To use a quote I once used on The Journey Home, it's a bit like getting tickets for the Titanic after it hit the iceberg.  He'll pray that the storms move on and he will be able to grow in the Faith, not despite the leadership and guidance of the day, but in some part because.   But he saw the problems, and the impact it was having, and understands the family's decision.

I'll unpack things more down the road. including the nitty-gritty of doctrinal issues and various events that brought about this unexpected journey.  Again, it wasn't a case of saying the Catholic Church has problems, I'll find one that doesn't!  That would be stupid. The Church has always had problems.  We have a New Testament, in part, because there were problems from the beginning.  It was, rather, the nature of the problems and the glaring issues they revealed, set against the issues of our surrounding community, loving though it could be, and what they did - and didn't - offer for a family of new converts.

For now, I'll  be gone for a few to fix the personal issues I mentioned.  Once that is straightened out, I'll be back to pick up on things.  There likely won't be a single treatise on 'why I left', but I will mention or point out issues as I move forward and go in whatever directions life and interests take me.

In the meantime, my apologies for not being forthright sooner.  I will still visit those remaining sites I have come to enjoy and receive edification from, but now it will be from one looking to a reconciliation between both ancient traditions I have come to cherish. 

Hoping this does not cause a rift or hard feelings from those who I have come to admire, respect and appreciate who remain in fellowship with the Church,

Dave