I've noticed a couple responses to my post below, and some have reached out to contact - dare I say console - me over the same post. Still working on the borrowed computer, as funds just aren't there to get the main one fixed. And that's cramping my time for blogging.
Blogging. I started my blog several years ago (2010 I think). That was after about a year of suggestions. They started in 2009, about three years after we entered the Church. At that time, we were sort of bouncing about, trying to make ends meet, sure that something was going to come up in the not-too-distant that would get my minister back into high gear, albeit for a Catholic purpose.
I had worked with RCIA groups, and had done lecture series on the Bible and Church History. I was advised to write a book. Several who saw my series pushed my name to other parishes or other Catholic organizations to help me get my foot in the door. Several who took part in my series advised me to get my thoughts together for writing and teaching and that grand ministry whose door was soon to open.
So with that, after kicking it around, I decided to start a blog. One, just to get used to putting my thoughts into words. It had been years since I was in school, and since I'm not a professional writer, the knack for writing my ideas down had gotten rusty. Two, to engage others. Hopefully people would come by and I could bounce off ideas and hear mine corrected. Three, I could sort of chisel out a focus - what was it that I was passionate about?
That was back in 2010. Now, I've all but been told that there is no place for me in our diocese. Having spent too long waiting, just trying to get by waiting for the grand door opening, and having encountered more than a few misfortunes during this time, we are no longer financially able to relocate to anywhere else. Meaning that for all intents and purposes, there is no ministry opening for me.
With that realization, it's difficult to keep the ministry flames alive. I have a library, but to what end? I've seriously thought of just giving it away (most of it). I'm not sure what it matters if I keep up with things or even comment on them. If I'm destined to be a paper pusher in a vast corporation, what is it that I think this regarding the current Pope or that regarding the change in times?
The blog itself has changed over time. When I first started, I got a hat tip from some other bloggers, and early on there were several who commented. The comments, in blog-fashion, sometimes got nasty. Eventually I put a stop to those. At that time, the comments section went haywire and no comments were able to be made. I didn't mind. I liked the relative quite. Yet I didn't like just throwing things out without comments. It seemed cowardly, as I think it is, to throw out a stinging commentary without a change for rebuttal. So I brought the comments back. But by then, many had left or ceased to comment. The comments never caught up to where they were. Even now, except for a small handful who occasionally comment, the comment sections remain largely empty.
And if blogging with no comments is cowardly, commenting with no comments can also be tiring. What's the point? Is anyone even reading? And since my ministry days are, at this point with this diocese and this bishop, done, why bother? So I'm just not sure. Right now, I've time to think of it. My wife has a job interview this week. How her working will fit with home school we don't know. But we know we need funds and need them now. With funds, we can do things like fix computers, and then, who knows? For now, I've time to think about the blog, my library, and a great many things. I'll return when I can. Thanks for the prayers, and if anyone knows Bishop who's seriously a fan of Protestant minister converts, just let me know. If not, a filthy rich Catholic wanting to depart with some of his or her excess will do.