Christmastime is almost here

I've long said that the image of the Wise Men traversing the nighttime deserts is one that fills me with that Christmas longing.  In fact, as C.S. Lewis talks about, it's often those fleeting jabs of pure joy, of real longing, that hit when I think about a desert in the cool night, wise men on camels, and a radiant star gleaming in the sky.  This year, the myriad issues with which we've had to contend, the uncertainty facing us, several family crises, and of course, the pall cast over all things by the recent atrocities, not the least of which was the Newtown shooting, have made the spirit seem a little less bright.

But that's because I want something that is tradition, that is family, comfort, cozy, special.  Perhaps there's something in those fleeting jabs of joy when I reflect on the Wise Men that reminds me, however briefly, that when we search for God, we're not searching for a way to add to our middle class 21st century comfortable lifestyle.  We're looking for something that will be wholly other.  As I tell my boys, don't covet wealth too freely.  Us lesser folk often imagine having the wealth of Bill Gates as being something like having the wealth of Bill Gates, and able to go on about our lives as we normally do - just with the wealth of Bill Gates.  But it doesn't work that way.  To have the wealth of Bill Gates, you have to become Bill Gates.  You have to have the priorities, the lifestyle, the dedication to wealth and industry that makes it impossible to be what leads to that much wealth and influence.  Have that much wealth, and you'll cease forever being what you are now, including the things you currently enjoy.

It's like that with Christmas, I suppose.  The Newtown shooting shattered those families' lives forever.  They also overthrew the calm of the rest of us who have hearts.  And yet, as reflections on the Coventry Carol demonstrate, the original 'Christmas Season' was anything but a single day event ending a month long spending spree.  It wasn't even cozy fires with chestnuts and family get togethers.   It was God invading the created universe to do something that had never been done, and would never be repeated.  And those involved would be changed forever.  All of us would be changed, potentially for the good, as the chorus of angels proclaim: a savior for all people, or the pain of living: a sword would pierce Mary's heart, and Rachel would weep for her children and refuse to be comforted, because they are no more.

So yes, this year has been far less than the story book, Christmas card Christmases of years past.  It doesn't equal the joy in our first Christmas with our oldest, or our last Christmas with all our boys, or any Christmas growing up where I wanted Atari's Space Invaders more than oxygen!  But it has given me time to think and reflect.  I often say I want God to show me direction.  What is it really I'm asking?  Am I prepared to follow that star, or drink that cup as Jesus would say?  Or am I just wanting an extra piece of divine furniture to round out the Christmas portrait that will be placed alongside the rest of the celebrations throughout the years?